The moment I heard about the accusations and police report regarding Josh Duggar my stomach fell and my heart broke. Knowing the ramifications, imagining the pain, wondering the details, the questions were endless, and frankly still are.
Since that moment I have been praying for this family. All of them. Every single one. Because I can’t imagine. As a parent, as a woman that was once a little girl, as a Christian, as a wife. Truly, the weight of this tragedy alone would be enough to paralyze, but when lived out in front of millions, the repercussions seem incalculable.
In all honesty, a big part of me is disappointed that their show will be off the air. That was literally the one network show I could put on for the kids, leave the room, and have full confidence that there would be no inappropriate content or anti-Biblical messages. Hearing lessons on modesty from someone other than me has been a huge benefit to my girls. And the side hug. You have to love the side hug.
But the logical side of me hopes they take a big break from TV.
Some would argue that America needs positive programming on the airwaves. And I agree. But not them. Not now.
Now is a time for them to heal as a family, and stay out of the spotlight.
Maybe this is a little too personal for me. But if your family is going through a tragedy, a pain filled circumstance, it is probably a good idea to stop drawing attention to yourself. A pastor resigns for being caught in adultery, the extent of which is still unknown, and yet he continues to tweet ad nauseum. A father causes his family immeasurable pain with deceit and abandonment, but yet his happy go lucky status updates keep coming.
People say “We need this pastor to show us his healing process!”
I say, go read a book. Read the Bible. Lots of examples of healing for you to learn from there. But for the love of Pete, stop encouraging him to chose ego over family.
I may be alone here. And I may change my mind later. But I am definitely of the “If you want to heal your family, stop living for the applause of others and get your stuff together” opinion, because the people that need you most are the ones that have loved you most. God can and will raise up someone else to take your place in ministry or even the work place. But the one place you are irreplaceable is in your own family.
What about the complaint that we NEED good Christian programming to offset the truly offensive and debase content on television?
I have the answer.
STOP WATCHING IT! What would happen to television ratings if everything you watched was published on your facebook feed? If 70% of America claims to be a Christian, Nielsen ratings sure tell a different story.
All I keep hearing Christians say is that the end is near. Well if that is true, then shouldn’t we put down the clicker, stop supporting a Hollywood that blasphemes our Lord and get on our knees?
I recently heard about an older well known pastor who was divorced and had been for years. His wife felt his ministry was his mistress, and she had enough. He struggled to keep his marriage, supposedly, but to no avail.After they were divorced, he then fought tooth and nail to keep his ministry.
And that made me sad.
Some would argue that the Lord needed him. I would argue that his wife did too. And the Apostle Paul would agree. Paul let us know in no uncertain terms that if a man is married, his wife needs to be taken care of.
But who would do that? Who would walk away from his livelihood, his ministry, his identity, just to care for a wife that couldn’t or wouldn’t return the affection?
Robertson McQuilkin would, that’s who. I remember hearing his story while driving down the road years ago and sobbing at the thought of a love so true, so Christ-like, so sacrificial, so HUMBLE.
His story is beautiful. No Hollywood flare. No celebrity status. No heart racing promiscuity. Just true love. And I don’t know about you, but I could use a little more of that these days.
You see, his wife developed Alzheimers. And his response is breathtaking. Read his words and take your time, because they are the most powerful that I have come across in some time.
“So began years of struggle with the question of what should be sacrificed: ministry or caring for Muriel. Should I put the kingdom of God first, “hate” my wife and, for the sake of Christ and the kingdom, arrange for institutionalization? Trusted, lifelong friends—wise and godly—urged me to do this.”
You may need to read that again. It is very, very heavy.
“People who do not know me well have said, “Well, you always said, ‘God first, family second, ministry third.’ ” But I never said that. To put God first means that all other responsibilities he gives are first, too. Sorting out responsibilities that seem to conflict, however, is tricky business.”
How often do you hear this in ministry? But he takes the true meaning to task brilliantly.
“When the time came, the decision was firm. It took no great calculation. It was a matter of integrity. Had I not promised, 42 years before, “in sickness and in health . . . till death do us part”?
This was no grim duty to which I stoically resigned, however. It was only fair. She had, after all, cared for me for almost four decades with marvelous devotion; now it was my turn. And such a partner she was!”
And my favorite line:
“If I took care of her for 40 years, I would never be out of her debt.”
My point is this. Stop using “ministry” as an excuse to stay in the limelight. Do you know what would benefit the kingdom more than another TV show, twitter personality or pretty picture posted on Facebook? This world needs Christians that understood the sacrifice and true display of the gospel shown by Robertson McQuilkin. Read his story here. You need to. Trust me. Or watch this 1 minute clip of his speech to resign. With all the pastors resigning these days, this is one you can get behind. And the others could take a play from this guys book. http://youtu.be/MqtG-XfxMC4